I HATE YOU

Ignore the title, unless it's directed at you. Then don't ignore it. Otherwise, it was meant for Coffee. I spilt it all over my shirt, AGAIN. If Coffee didn't come from Coca, and cocaine wasn't it's distant relative, I would never touch the stuff...

Okay, formalities aside, hey again.
*takes a deep breath*

Right now, I have no idea whatsoever about what this post shall be about, BUT never fear, dear Reader! All is not lost, I never think about what I do, so this is probably a good thing...

OKAY! I've got inspiration. Godsmack is playing on my Media Player ('I Stand Alone' to be precise), and (edited for racism) is on TV atm. Gotta love Judge Mathis. Seriously, where else will you see crazy ghetto peoples with Handlebar Moustaches fighting their case against a lady screaming 'OWWH NAAW U SO DID NOT DO DAT. AIN'T NOBODY GON' TREAT ME LIKE YO GHETTO HOOCHIE. YOU'S A LIAR!'? BUT back to my original topic (which didn't exist, don't worry, you're not the only one confused)...

Last night, I was surfing the internet at 1:30am. No, I was not looking for porn, I woulda been watching TV in that case, you disgusting freak... But anyway, I stumbled across a link to Fox News Live Video Stream. Apparently some guy threatened to attack the White House, and subsequently drove this epically huge army vehicle down Washington's main street. Being the retard he is, he crashed into a Millenium VW Beatle (which weirdly didn't move) and he came to a dead stop. Anyway, cutting a long story short, he resisted arrest by screaming he had a bomb, and thus the standoff began.

This got me thinking, why would someone want to kill Obama? Then my mathematical brain (no seriously) started putting the puzzle together.

*Obama's black, black ancestors would have worked on Cotton fields. You sew cotton.
*Sews is awfully like a combination of Serbs and Jews.
* Hitler killed Jews, and Stalin killed Serbs.
Therefore, Obama is the reincarnation of Stalin and Hitler. It's no wonder that guy wanted to kill him...