BOOBs

Bro's (who) openly opt (for) Bro's.

I know the acronym doesn't quite work, but hey! It spells boobs. Boobs are a typical guy thing. Not that we have them, it's just... You know what I mean. I coulda gone with the original Bro's Before Hoes, (BBH, kinda like BBQ, seeing this topic is saucy... Ha, lame) BUT that wouldn't require me to make a blog entry, a Life Brogram per say, seeing it already exists.

The Unwritten Law of Men, has always been a topic many guys have failed to live by, and thus because of it, have lost their girlfriend and their bro's. Personally, they deserved it, it's not hard to follow the Law. Sure we all break the occasional Speed Limit, and kill a hooker or two (or is that just me?), but the Law of Men is not a law one man breaks for ANY reason. For as soon as they have, they are no longer a man and are too far bitch-whipped to be saved. These unfortunate men (or Broletariats - the social class comprising those who do manual labour or work for wages women) could have saved themselves all the heartache if they had just followed these 7 simple steps to Bromanship:

Bro's Before Hoes

The most important law of all. This is the law most men struggle with, but is always the easiest to keep for those who have a true Bromance with their buddies. Dating is perfectly acceptable, and in many circles it is often frowned upon if you are not dating and/or having sex (Unless you're giving that 100% of yourself to the Bromance, then it's OK). This doesn't mean, however, that once you date you put off the Bro's in place of your date. Brorgasms (That wonderful feeling you feel when out with your friends) is like an orgasm with your true love - True meaning the woman you've married, not your current girl - it just has a deeper emotional touch than the feeling you have on your date. Bro's ALWAYS come before Hoes. Bro's are like Herpes, they're for life.

Slut-Up When Told

You're a bro, your bro's are going to confide in you with their darkest and most hidden secrets. You're their Brossary of helpful advice. It is your job not to reveal these things to anyone. Pillow Talk is probably where this rule gets broken most. You've managed to share a physical bond with your girlfriend, you shouldn't need to regale her with stories and misadventures of your friends in an attempt to look like the Alpha Male. You've succeeded already in that department in her books, that's why you're having a 'Pillow Talk'. It's just not cool.

Presents

Men are not superficial. A Birthday and Christmas is always only made special because of brotherly company, not gifts. Though an optional present of Alcohol is never rejected, and is always encouraged. Make sure, though, you bring enough for everyone.

Late Night Partying

Whenever it's that time again on the social calender for a night of late drinking and hanging out, it is only polite to offer yourself to be the Designated Driver (DD - the best kind of BOOBs... NO, seriously, sexual jokes aside). You may only be excused from volunteering if:
A) You volunteered last time
B) You're an alcoholic (You just can't be trusted)
or
C) The party is in your honour.
There are many drawbacks to being the Designated Driver (No alcohol is one) but the perks are far greater. Knowing what you've done for your Bro's is a great feeling, and your brotherly bond is further strengthened by your ability to 'take one for the team'. Designated Drivers ALWAYS pay for any bills encountered during the night.

Gamer Frenzy

Whether it's a game on the PS3; Basketball or those of a sexual kind, men are men. It's alright to cheat at the game being played, as long as no money is at stake and it's not sex. A Gentleman's Bet is his Word. If he cannot play fairly, he cannot be trusted in general. Grudges are off limits, even if he broke the No-Cheating Rule. If you can forgive your girlfriend for ignoring you because of her own emotional reasons, you can forgive a bro (who you know at least 95% better) for almost anything.

Defend His Honour

When confronted, it is common practice to stick up for your bro's. Brotect and serve, it's what we do. Bro on Bro confrontations call for resolution, not for you to pick a side. Stay neutral, and always try to calm them both down. If it's your date confronting a friend, it is your responsibility to defend your Bro. No one should be allowed to insult a friend of yours, and if your girlfriend can't accept that, then she's not worth it. She's not the one dating your friend, so why is she so concerned about him? If the act/mannerism that your friend engages in, is understandably detestable - as in, under normal circumstances, it's not acceptable in public - then it is your duty to tell him not to partake in such things in a gentlemanly manner. You should always portray your friends highly. A man's immediate company is the truest reflection to his own character.

Brotherly Love and Public Interaction

Brotherly love, while the strongest male bond just short of Homosexuality, has it's limits. Although it's nice to always be close to your Bro's, sometimes things just get too awkward and weird. A certain space must always be kept between one another in most instances, especially on couches and while using the urinals. Under NO circumstance must brothers share a bed. The floor is perfectly acceptable for sleeping and, in fact, it's ungivingness is good for your posture. This is where the tiny divide between Bromosexuality and Homosexuality is crossed. These same rules apply to your date when she is present in front of your friends. During such times, she is an honorary Bro. You wouldn't kiss a Bro now would you? It's also very rude to show such public affections because you're the guy with the girl, it's almost as if you're rubbing it in your friends' faces that you're better than them. It might be OK to think this in your mind, but to publicaly show it, is just not cool. Be a BrObama, a person for the people and not for a person.