Take My Pain

I don't want this anymore
I'm dying to live, yet I'm living to die
'cause I keep standing up, just to fall
back into your lies

I'm so busy looking for your goodness within
I can't see the pain crawling beneath my skin
it's just eating away...
I was born to lose, so I'm dying to win
yet my every goodness, turns back to sin
and so I pray

Dear God, take this pain away
I know you're there, and I know you care
but this pain is too much to bear
Dear God, take my pain away
I need to be saved, before my soul breaks
just take my pain away

I dunno where to hold on
though my body hasn't moved, I still feel so lost
I dunno where to hold on
though my body hasn't moved, I still feel so lost

There's no way out, I'm trapped beneath
your lies, and I cannot breathe
I'm suffocating...
my chest begins to heave
I waste all my breath on these screams
but all that comes is silence...

I wipe these tears from my eyes,
God, just give me a sign
Why am I searching this darkness for light...

I dunno where to hold on
though my body hasn't moved, I still feel so lost

God, I pray for you one last time
this cold is too much, I can't go on
cause the only warmth, are the tears in my eyes...

Warning: The Warning Limit Has Been Reached

AHEM, blog-post is below

I wonder if a bit of softcore-porn will get myself more readers? I desperately hope so... 3 followers and no comments anymore, it's almost not worth continuing this blog. But, I am one to be optimistic (when under the influence of alcohol) and shall thus, continue regardless. I need this blog... OK well that would be a lie, but as a gap year student, I need a soapbox to punctuate sentences and conjugate verbs to keep my brain stimulated and constantly engaged in meaningful thought (Though more often than not, I'm finding myself a body with no soul, no thought and no movement... ).

Warning labels, they're everywhere, and are fast becoming really annoying (as I'm sure the tape in the above picture is to you guys... For shame!). I'm sure most of you have probably seen that email that's floating around listing the top ten most retarded instruction/caution/warning labels to be printed on a commercially sold product, but for those of you who don't, I'll list one: "Warning: chainsaw is not to be stopped by genitals". Graphic, I know, but I had to give a point.

It seems that nothing has been saved from the wrath of the warning-label-hungry individuals with obviously a low viewpoint of the world's intellectual capabilities. Though, it's true I regard the norm for intelligence to be leaning, somewhat, to the retarded end of the scale, I do NOT see the need for the flurry of idiotic and pointless warning signs we have now. I'm a firm believer in the saying that we must learn from our mistakes, and if someone is dumb enough to attempt to stop that chainsaw with their genitals, then let him/her do just that; they'll never be able to reproduce and the gene pool will be one person less, that swims around with metaphorical Arm-Bands.

What constitutes as a 'mandatory' warning, anyway? I mean, if you're going to point out stupid warnings, why only point out that one particular reason, surely someone is going to attempt something else that's incompetent and then sue you anyway. We're heading into a future where scientists promised us flying cars and humanoid robots, but the only breakthrough that we will probably see is that every product for sale will be shipped with a 600 page warning pamphlet.

Stupid warnings are not the only labels I find a problem with, what really annoys me are the warnings that are printed on literally EVERY side of a cigarette carton. Yes, I understand that smoking can/will kill you, but the thing is this, everyone will die eventually. If Joe X wants to die from lung cancer and not simply old age, that's his own democratic right; suicide is not a crime. Smokers know the dangers their addiction/hobby has, so why advertise to them that they're killing themselves when they know the dangers already? That's just cruel. The government feeds them more cigarettes, takes their money, and laughs it's way to the bank and STILL has the nerve to rub that in the smoker's face? It's like having a Christian run around telling all non-Christians that they shall all burn in hell and laugh about it. Now, the last time I checked, that's illegal as it defecates on the rights of anyone to have freedom in religious choice. So why is there this double standard in government?

Now I get that if you don't warn people about these things, they will sue you for their stupidity, and I know that the courts always rule in their favour, leaving the 'ungifted' individuals with money they don't rightfully deserve, and push their children through university to probably become a lawyer. It's the circle of life that's ebbing itself around the shallow end of our ever depleting gene pool.

The problem lies in the fact that society will become so accustomed to warning labels, that they'll completely overlook those warning labels that are rightfully there; labels that aren't stupid. Life will become so haphazard, that people will just do and act without weighing the pros and cons of the outcome. All because of the irony of a warning label. Because of what was meant to spell out danger, shall create a danger itself.

Up, Up and Away

This past Saturday I managed to FINALLY persuade my friends in accompanying me into seeing the Pixar animation Up. Though guided as a child-orientated movie, its content was, definitely, much deeper than what lay on it's exquisitely generated 3D surface.

Now this is quite normal for animation studios to have adult-humour in their movies (Animaniacs is a famous example) but Up definitely had a much more adult-orientated nature than any other film I've seen from the 'Toy Story'-famed production studios. From its portrayal of a couple's miscarriage/inability to produce children, and constant mention of the retirement village 'Shady Oaks' right to a true WWE moment where, after a shot to the forehead, the showing of blood ('OMG blood in a Pixar animation?!', you say? Believe it...). But the most prolific adult-themed message in the movie was not delivered in controversial fashion at all, instead it was put-forward to provoke thought in us: Are our own fantasies/beliefs really worth hanging on to, and are they really what we think they are?

The movie centres around the adventures of a brusque elderly man, Carl Fredricksen, and Russell, the Wilderness Explorer who's never explored anything passed his own living-room. Both share many characteristics and backgrounds as both are trying to overcome familial issues (For Carl, the death of Ellie, his wife, and for Russel, his estranged father), but the most striking is the way Russel portrays the younger, more ambitious Carl (seen at the beginning of the movie) in the sense of working tirelessly in making his childhood dream - of finally attaining the rank of 'Senior Explorer' - his life.

For Carl, however, his lifelong ambitions have varied due to his maturation. The younger Carl is portrayed as an avowed fan of the movie's antagonist, famed explorer Charles F. Muntz. It was through this admiration that led for him to find a bond with Ellie and later marry and give birth to a shared lifelong goal; to live in Paradise Falls (The area where Muntz re-departed for, after claims of his skeletal findings being fictional, to capture a living creature and restore his reputation).

After managing to fly his house (and accidentally Russel), with the aid of balloons; Carl's dream is shortly dashed as a storm brings his house down barely short of Paradise Falls. With only a few days left of helium, Carl must, at any cost, reach his goal and get his house exactly where Ellie had pictured it in her childhood. On his journey to pull his house the rest of the way, Carl must overcome many distractions brought on by Russel's overactive and childlike mannerisms. None, however, would affect it quite so much as the integration of Kevin (the very species Muntz hunted) and Dug - the talking dog - with our two main characters.


Suffice to say - as to not regurgitate the entire plot of this epic movie - Kevin would lead Muntz into the equation as well, and the thought of finally mingling with his childhood hero was just too much to pass-up for Carl. But his idol was not as he had envisioned... After many years in isolation - save for his trusted dogs - Muntz had grown both greedy and paranoid. A far cry from the heroic and admirable explorer the press had portrayed him to be.

It was because of this that Carl would be torn between helping Kevin reach her (Russel believed her to be male) young or finally attaining his goal. Selfishness prevailed and Carl returned to his house, losing both Russel and Russel's respect because of his decision. Thankfully, however, Carl would later leave his dreams and rescue Russel, forming a lifelong bond.

Our lives are exactly the same. Though we might not live in a house suspended by thousands of balloons, we all have dreams and perceptions. Dreams we grow-up with and always seek to fulfill, even if they're unattainable. The want to have a dream and to pursue it is only natural, and there's nothing wrong with that, it's just we should never choose these things above the welfare of another. Just like Carl, when we finally attain the thing we've always longed for, we've hyped it up so much that it greatly fails to meet our own expectations. The same cannot be said, however, for the euphoria we feel when helping another. So sure, it's nice to dream, but there's a vast difference between the possibilities of our imagination and reality; and we cannot let our dreams (attainable or not) overshadow what we can do to help those around us, no matter how estranged the connection to us is, because THAT is what our lives were meant for.

Your Life Really Is A Lie

My (probable) week-long Sexual Innuendo counter is currently sitting at: 52. Weak, I know, but I haven't had much time - or actual sexual innuendo thoughts/jokes for that matter either. It's a sad day for us all... Hopefully it'll pick up in the days to come. But back to the blog post of the day! Which seems to break continuity as posts now come few and far between of late, which is disappointing to myself, and of course it must disappoint you too... It's another short one and I know, dear Reader, that this must disappoint you further and my blog is probably making you border on suicide, but never fear! My normal rant-obsessed, controversy-creating self will be back shortly, I promise.

So, here it is, I'm basically copy-pasting it straight from my Facebook status (seeing I first wrote it there). I might elaborate on it, I might not. Either way, enjoy:

"Life is a lie, this is all a fabrication of my imagination. No one else exists, the universe is what my own mind perceives things to be, and is not influenced by anything but myself. Nothing you tell me can disprove my theory. Have fun trying though."

I've had one person try to discredit my 'theory' by saying they can kill me and thus prove I'm wrong. But, dear Reader, if you killed me... How could you prove the universe lived on? It would be completely dead to me, you cannot prove through my death it carrying on and thus, my point is still valid.

Conception Of New Ideas

We think long and hard to rise to the occasion. We've all done it, a little bit of head-bashing. Ideas going back and forth but no substance. Until that sudden rush, with ideas coming to the tip of your head and then gushing out. Until the two aspects meet and you finally can hold your greatness in your hand.



Sexual Innuendo counter: 11

Dignity Is But A Black Girl's Name

Today's 3Talk showcased the winners of a leading South African magazine's Sexiest Person Awards, both male and female. In my honest opinion, the female winner (Jeannie D - host of Top Billing) is far from fit to win such an award. Though she is pretty, the title is 'Sexiest Person' and facing facts, she is definitely not the sexiest. While I do understand the awards are based on personal opinion, and subject to the judges' personal tastes in what characteristics make someone 'sexy', the thought on how she won is still beyond me. Personal opinions aside, though, let me rather get back to the point of this blog post: Dignity...

Call it what you will - self-esteem or self-respect - it still boils down to one flaw in our human nature; pride. Whether you agree with me or not on that aspect, we all need to agree that pride is a negative feature all human beings have within them. It is this aspect to our self-beliefs that has caused us to be so physically conscious - not in terms of looks but in accepting what is legally and socially right. If we could view ourselves in dignity, as a whole (both spiritually and physically), there would not be a problem with it, but it is our human flaws that limit us from seeing the true, underlying negativity we have created for ourselves and for our societies.

Rape is considered a serious issue worldwide, but is it really? It is true that every day thousands of women deal with haunting memories of the horrific ordeal from their past, but look at what I just did there. I said women, and not one person can honestly say that that comment did not stick out in their mind as sexism. It is because of this idea of physical self-worth that is brainwashing us into an opinion on social etiquette that is both sexist and immoral.

Each day millions of men and women are subjected to the adverse effects of abject poverty and malnutrition while a small percentage of the world's population live in grandeur, with a mansion situated on that proverbial greener grass on the other side of the fence. Is this not a raping of a 'dignified life' every person should enjoy? A 'dignified life' you probably lead, adorning your body with designer clothing and expensive jewelery. The 'dignified life' that is only accessible through capitalistic living and economic promotion of companies that continue to degrade the lives of the already struggling poor community. But while you clothe yourselves in such physical luxuries, it is the poor that have enriched their lives, emotionally, to the point of true dignity that any city-dwelling socialite will never reach.
So is it not them, that have learned to live life for it's true meaning, that should benefit from the luxuries you and I take for granted?

Role-reversal ideas aside, surely it is these people that we should feel sympathy for. That our hearts should yearn to save, that our prayers should be directed at. I'm not denying the emotional damage caused by rape, it is truly a traumatic experience, but we cannot (because of our personal attachments to physical things) denounce all human emotion towards those affected by capitalist greed while pouring our hearts out to a circumstance only because we have no personal loss in speaking against it.

We have created a world where inanimate items have a higher worth than that of human life, and unfortunately we will continue to stagnate further and further into a state of emotionless existence until we completely lack the ability to show compassion completely. It's time society, as a whole, stops living for the moment and starts making the moment live for them. When you do a crossword, you don't attempt a guess before reading the clues. But, in life, mankind has begun to do the opposite, we've portrayed societal images without looking at the deeper meaning of life and it is only when we reverse that, will we truly be able to live in dignity, with a compassion for ourselves and society as a whole. When we will truly understand life's true meaning and be able to live accordingly, and not in a world of sexist hypocrisy.

Time: The 'Fourth Dimensional' Lie

The creation of the universe and its existence, is about as infinite as its arguments within the scientific world. Or is it?

The Fourth Dimension (Spatially, the fourth dimension is a tesseract - a cube of a cube, of having 8 sides within a 4D environment - and in the Spacetime principle, time itself) is the missing link between logical reason and scientific theory that is often overlooked when the creation of our heavens is debated. Both Dimensions need to be elaborated further, individually, as each principle contains its own flaws within scientific understanding, Universal Creation and the Time Continuum.

Time is most probably the only scientific principle the everyday citizen understands; well in it's basic form. Digging a little deeper, however, the laws of Time surpass the understanding of even the greatest scientific minds. In layman's terms, for an object to exist it must contain each of the 'four' dimensions (We perceive our world in 3D but the universe itself is 4 Dimensional), 4+1 - where +1 is the dimension of time. Without any ONE of these dimensions any object cannot exist. The same rule must then apply to the Dimensions as well, as a Dimension cannot exist without it's pertaining parts. An example for this theory is in the existence of shadows; within a 4D world, light reflects off our 3D bodies and is portrayed within 2D. (Interestingly enough, for the possibility of a true hologram, scientists would have to invent a 5 Dimensional environment for light to be able to create such a projection)

If this is the case, then Time would have to always be of a fixed nature. It cannot suddenly exist as entities within the other dimensions would need to be present as well. Thus the theory of a singular Big Bang creating the universe is disproved by science itself, as each catalyst within the Big Bang would have to have been in existence for eternity and somehow didn't react until, what scientists believe is the creation period, 14 Billion years ago. The creation of these catalysts would also have to have been done at the beginning of time itself (which would be circular logic as you would need a new Big Bang to create this Big Bang) OR by an omnipresent being. The latter seems more plausible, scientifically, and what do you know, such a theory exists; Religion.

Spatially, however, scientists believe in the M-Theory. Basically, this theory is the belief that the universe is made up of 11 Dimensions in total that explains the reason for infinite space, and for all cosmological anomalies. These 7 Dimensions - known as hyper-dimensions as they exceed the perceivable dimensions - are so infinitesimally small (according to theory that they curve too sharply - I, personally, don't understand their logic either) that they almost do not exist themselves.

Going back to the Shadow Principle (and the Hologram 'Theory'), if 11 Dimensions did exist, then the earth has to be void of these hyper-dimensions and is still 4 Dimensional as our shadows are 2D (so are those of the moon, but you could argue the moon is close to the Earth and thus shares the same characteristics, so I won't elaborate on that being proof these hyper-dimensions don't exist). The nail in the coffin of the M-Theory is, once again, The Big Bang Theory. If all objects within the universe were created by the same gases, then that means the Earth must have the same principles as the rest of the Universe, thus eliminating the possibility of extraterrestrial hyper-dimensions.

The answer to these cosmological anomalies lies in the most obvious of places, the Fourth (Spatial) Dimension. This known dimension is completely invisible to our own eyes as we only perceive things around us in 3D, and thus we cannot explain what possibilities are visible within this unknown dimension. We cannot begin to understand what even ourselves would look like in 4D (would this be the dimension our souls and emotions are visible in?) let alone what wonders the universe above us must hold. Logically, though, this 4th Dimension would hold the key to the 'infinity' of space, and be the realm of all knowledge. Suffice to say, if we could comprehend within this fourth dimension, we would be God, Itself.

BOOBs

Bro's (who) openly opt (for) Bro's.

I know the acronym doesn't quite work, but hey! It spells boobs. Boobs are a typical guy thing. Not that we have them, it's just... You know what I mean. I coulda gone with the original Bro's Before Hoes, (BBH, kinda like BBQ, seeing this topic is saucy... Ha, lame) BUT that wouldn't require me to make a blog entry, a Life Brogram per say, seeing it already exists.

The Unwritten Law of Men, has always been a topic many guys have failed to live by, and thus because of it, have lost their girlfriend and their bro's. Personally, they deserved it, it's not hard to follow the Law. Sure we all break the occasional Speed Limit, and kill a hooker or two (or is that just me?), but the Law of Men is not a law one man breaks for ANY reason. For as soon as they have, they are no longer a man and are too far bitch-whipped to be saved. These unfortunate men (or Broletariats - the social class comprising those who do manual labour or work for wages women) could have saved themselves all the heartache if they had just followed these 7 simple steps to Bromanship:

Bro's Before Hoes

The most important law of all. This is the law most men struggle with, but is always the easiest to keep for those who have a true Bromance with their buddies. Dating is perfectly acceptable, and in many circles it is often frowned upon if you are not dating and/or having sex (Unless you're giving that 100% of yourself to the Bromance, then it's OK). This doesn't mean, however, that once you date you put off the Bro's in place of your date. Brorgasms (That wonderful feeling you feel when out with your friends) is like an orgasm with your true love - True meaning the woman you've married, not your current girl - it just has a deeper emotional touch than the feeling you have on your date. Bro's ALWAYS come before Hoes. Bro's are like Herpes, they're for life.

Slut-Up When Told

You're a bro, your bro's are going to confide in you with their darkest and most hidden secrets. You're their Brossary of helpful advice. It is your job not to reveal these things to anyone. Pillow Talk is probably where this rule gets broken most. You've managed to share a physical bond with your girlfriend, you shouldn't need to regale her with stories and misadventures of your friends in an attempt to look like the Alpha Male. You've succeeded already in that department in her books, that's why you're having a 'Pillow Talk'. It's just not cool.

Presents

Men are not superficial. A Birthday and Christmas is always only made special because of brotherly company, not gifts. Though an optional present of Alcohol is never rejected, and is always encouraged. Make sure, though, you bring enough for everyone.

Late Night Partying

Whenever it's that time again on the social calender for a night of late drinking and hanging out, it is only polite to offer yourself to be the Designated Driver (DD - the best kind of BOOBs... NO, seriously, sexual jokes aside). You may only be excused from volunteering if:
A) You volunteered last time
B) You're an alcoholic (You just can't be trusted)
or
C) The party is in your honour.
There are many drawbacks to being the Designated Driver (No alcohol is one) but the perks are far greater. Knowing what you've done for your Bro's is a great feeling, and your brotherly bond is further strengthened by your ability to 'take one for the team'. Designated Drivers ALWAYS pay for any bills encountered during the night.

Gamer Frenzy

Whether it's a game on the PS3; Basketball or those of a sexual kind, men are men. It's alright to cheat at the game being played, as long as no money is at stake and it's not sex. A Gentleman's Bet is his Word. If he cannot play fairly, he cannot be trusted in general. Grudges are off limits, even if he broke the No-Cheating Rule. If you can forgive your girlfriend for ignoring you because of her own emotional reasons, you can forgive a bro (who you know at least 95% better) for almost anything.

Defend His Honour

When confronted, it is common practice to stick up for your bro's. Brotect and serve, it's what we do. Bro on Bro confrontations call for resolution, not for you to pick a side. Stay neutral, and always try to calm them both down. If it's your date confronting a friend, it is your responsibility to defend your Bro. No one should be allowed to insult a friend of yours, and if your girlfriend can't accept that, then she's not worth it. She's not the one dating your friend, so why is she so concerned about him? If the act/mannerism that your friend engages in, is understandably detestable - as in, under normal circumstances, it's not acceptable in public - then it is your duty to tell him not to partake in such things in a gentlemanly manner. You should always portray your friends highly. A man's immediate company is the truest reflection to his own character.

Brotherly Love and Public Interaction

Brotherly love, while the strongest male bond just short of Homosexuality, has it's limits. Although it's nice to always be close to your Bro's, sometimes things just get too awkward and weird. A certain space must always be kept between one another in most instances, especially on couches and while using the urinals. Under NO circumstance must brothers share a bed. The floor is perfectly acceptable for sleeping and, in fact, it's ungivingness is good for your posture. This is where the tiny divide between Bromosexuality and Homosexuality is crossed. These same rules apply to your date when she is present in front of your friends. During such times, she is an honorary Bro. You wouldn't kiss a Bro now would you? It's also very rude to show such public affections because you're the guy with the girl, it's almost as if you're rubbing it in your friends' faces that you're better than them. It might be OK to think this in your mind, but to publicaly show it, is just not cool. Be a BrObama, a person for the people and not for a person.

I HATE YOU

Ignore the title, unless it's directed at you. Then don't ignore it. Otherwise, it was meant for Coffee. I spilt it all over my shirt, AGAIN. If Coffee didn't come from Coca, and cocaine wasn't it's distant relative, I would never touch the stuff...

Okay, formalities aside, hey again.
*takes a deep breath*

Right now, I have no idea whatsoever about what this post shall be about, BUT never fear, dear Reader! All is not lost, I never think about what I do, so this is probably a good thing...

OKAY! I've got inspiration. Godsmack is playing on my Media Player ('I Stand Alone' to be precise), and (edited for racism) is on TV atm. Gotta love Judge Mathis. Seriously, where else will you see crazy ghetto peoples with Handlebar Moustaches fighting their case against a lady screaming 'OWWH NAAW U SO DID NOT DO DAT. AIN'T NOBODY GON' TREAT ME LIKE YO GHETTO HOOCHIE. YOU'S A LIAR!'? BUT back to my original topic (which didn't exist, don't worry, you're not the only one confused)...

Last night, I was surfing the internet at 1:30am. No, I was not looking for porn, I woulda been watching TV in that case, you disgusting freak... But anyway, I stumbled across a link to Fox News Live Video Stream. Apparently some guy threatened to attack the White House, and subsequently drove this epically huge army vehicle down Washington's main street. Being the retard he is, he crashed into a Millenium VW Beatle (which weirdly didn't move) and he came to a dead stop. Anyway, cutting a long story short, he resisted arrest by screaming he had a bomb, and thus the standoff began.

This got me thinking, why would someone want to kill Obama? Then my mathematical brain (no seriously) started putting the puzzle together.

*Obama's black, black ancestors would have worked on Cotton fields. You sew cotton.
*Sews is awfully like a combination of Serbs and Jews.
* Hitler killed Jews, and Stalin killed Serbs.
Therefore, Obama is the reincarnation of Stalin and Hitler. It's no wonder that guy wanted to kill him...

I'm bored...

It appears once again I've been banned from Facebook (from now on referred to as Failbook). Surprise surprise, really... That makes it the FOURTH time this year, alone, that Failbook has decided it's advances on the Movie Star-esque MySpace, will only end in rejection and thus Mark Zuckerberg has decided to take his sexual frustration out on the profile delete button. (Woah! What a run on sentence, I hope you took a breath halfway through, I'm not liable for your death in the case of your stupidity...)

Anyway, I thought I would first explain the reasons why I've been banned. The first time was back in April, and I was having a discussion on racism with a friend. A black friend. We both used racist terms (such as: HA! no, I'm not going there...) to justify our argument, and NOTHING more. But, I guess another 'friend' took offence to what we were saying and thus reported me, and I was put on an 'evaluation' ban. I then decided to create a new account in the meantime, and managed to get myself banned a mere 2 weeks later on that. Apparently I was "abusing the inbox feature". If you're not allowed to have friends, and communicate, what is the point of Facebook?! That's like hiring a prostitute and finding out she's a nun, and she doesn't sell her body, but it's OK to look. Bad analogy I know, but it works... Terms Of Use (TOU) Violation bans, in this case, are a mere one week temporary ban, thankfully. But by this time, however, my old account was back and, hey, I had two accounts now.

I'm part of a Facebook group called De-motivational Posters (DMP for short), which is seriously addictive and filled with friendly and epic people. It's basically a group dedicated to posters done in the motivational style format (see previous post) and is usually made in an offensive manner (side note: ALWAYS do it for the lulz). I'm all for offensive jokes, and thus some of my posters I guess went 'too far' for some, and I was soon reportfagged again. This time, my 'other' profile was permanently removed because it violated the use of 'no fake accounts'.

After being proud of probably setting the record for the most number of issued bans, Failbook has once again (as of last night) issued me with a TOU Violation for, you guessed it, Inbox abuse. Oh well, that's another week of no Failbook. Time for me to go have a 'real life', I guess o.O

Racism can be funny

Yep, racism can be funny. It all depends on to what extent you use it. Just wanted to share a Motivational Poster of mine. I'll probably write some rant on Racism one of these days. I shall also upload more motivationals (pity my background is black so it messes with the black background of the poster) and fail pictures when I come across them.

Consumed In The Darkness

The Sun has finally set
and it's rays shall not return
I'm walking in the darkness
but I find it's light still burns

I've been on this path before
yet this time it feels different
I tried to read this map
but everything is not how it's written

taking just another step,
a step without direction
a step into the realm of confusion
a step that leaves no impression

yet in everything I see and do
all I see is you
staring right back with that smile
that sick and twisted disguise
and it's then I realise
all I'm being is you

is this all I'm living for?
pages of meaningless existence,
where the lines have faded
and the moment is lost in an instant

continuously searching
for the air to my next breath
but I find with every inhalation
is this distinctive scent of death

for my body has kept on living
but my soul has passed on
I'm grabbing for an identity
but my chance is so long gone

cause in everything I see and do
all I see is you
staring right back with that smile
that sick and twisted disguise
and it's then I realise
all I've been is you

I tried to fight the feeling
but when the battle was ensued
and I stepped out of the darkness
I was just more confused

it seems there's no rhyme or reason
that explains why I'm like you
so I simply have to wonder
if you're feeling like this too

as I walk back into the darkness
trying to find why I'm so consumed
I'm diggin up the past
waiting for my soul to be exhumed

but the truth has finally dawned on me
and it's not how I presumed
cause I've finally realised
the only light has been you

Piracy and how it POSITIVELY affects our economy

In the current economical melt-down, while many jobs and payrolls are being cut, our governments still find the time (and money) to propagate a message that piracy is linked to organised crime and affects negatively on our economy, when, if anything, the opposite is true.

"A loss in income means a loss in jobs. Some major record companies have had to cut jobs worldwide, drop 20 percent of their recording artists and outsource their DVD and CD manufacturing, in part because of piracy" The RiSA Anti-Piracy Unit (RAPU) - South Africa's Anti-Piracy organisation.

The website goes on to say "RAPU's policies and beliefs are made up from independent studies conducted by it's members ..." An emphasis must be placed on the words 'made up', for that's what they are, made up works of fiction used as political tools to garner our governments more of our money, while lessening our own countries' economies.

As piracy increases, the number of album/movie sales decrease (obviously). Governments (grossly, across the world) lose an estimated $200 million a year from tax revenues due to piracy. Which, contrary to what anti-piracy organisations would like us to believe, is a fairly small loss; considering America's turnovers, alone, are well in excess of trillions of dollars.

If piracy was eradicated, such a small influx into our economies would hardly affect government sectors, and the working population. It wouldn't improve job shortages nor would it help fight poverty. Piracy, on the other hand, promotes job creation within the working and lower classes.

Apart from offering a means of income for the men and women who copy and sell the pirated media, piracy also contributes to job growth within the legal sectors of our workforce. With the rise in the number of piracy vendors, governments have had to increase the number of patrolling policemen and women to combat the sale of piracy. Police and Federal agencies have also had to employ more staff to to keep track and monitor the virtual world and piracy rings. Increase in internet downloads has meant an increase in revenue for Internet Service Providers (ISPs) as well as digital media manufacturers - such as Verbatim - who benefit from the increase in writable CD/DVD sales. Not to mention the ironic financial aid it has to the anti-piracy organisations.

While it is true that the artists/actors themselves lose capital (and for the agencies, royalties from album/movie sales) because of piracy, it is also true that these men and women still earn far more each year than the average, working person anyway. Those affected within the commercial industry (the most targeted industry within entertainment) still make millions each year, and if anything, piracy is a solution to their greed.

I'm not saying piracy does not affect the underground, because it certainly does, but a whole new factor comes in to play here. Underground artists (those who don't sell their works for commercial or mainstream success) are more affected by the lack of monetary support because of their lesser following. They, more often than not, lead normal jobs and have their passion on the side. Because that is what it is, a passion. For those who have chosen for their passion to still be their income, they knew of the financial barrier they would have to face, compared to their commercial colleagues. Because of this, these underground artists have grown talented in the art of 'Hustling' (Immortal Technique having personally sold 40,000 copies of his records) and are still financially successful in their own right. The underground also effectively incorporates the art self-piracy, called bootlegging, which encourages people to pirate music to further an artist's success and sales.

So why is it that organisations, such as RAPU, want us to believe the opposite of piracy? Well, the answer lies within their name, they want to rape you of your money to further governmental and self greed. So the next time you feel the urge to buy an album from a mega store, rather do yourself AND your country a favour by pirating it instead.

The start of something epic

Currently it is 10:22pm, and after having NO sleep and a day of 'partying', I have given in to the requests of a friend and made this blog. Maybe it's the lack of sleep or the weird smell in the air, but I have a feeling something epic shall become of this little blog of mine. Although deep done I know it's all 100% poppycock, and thus didn't even bother capitalising the title of this post properly, nor recheck it for grammatical mistakes. Hey now, this is labeled 'onward to failure' after all...

Aah, seems I forgot to capitalise the f in failure. What a fail, how ironic...